


Like Ivy, We Grow

by antivansdoitbetter



Category: Rune Factory Frontier
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Pining, Pre-Relationship, Slow Burn, Some angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2018-08-11 23:15:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7911352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antivansdoitbetter/pseuds/antivansdoitbetter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"Like ivy, we grow where there is room for us."<i></i></i>
</p><p>Raguna is no stranger to change, but with his new-found home in Trampoli comes new-found feelings and fears.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The summer heat hung heavy in the air over Trampoli as the morning drifted into the afternoon. It was a harvest day, and Ruguna was busy in his fields, picking ears of corn. Beside him, Betsy, his buffaloo stamped impatiently. She had expected a nice long ride up to the lake but instead she was standing out in the sweltering heat with her saddle bags filled to the brim with corn. Raguna patted her sympathetically.

“Almost done here, girl, I promise,” he said. Betsy shook her head and stamped her foot. Raguna smiled. 

“Just a bit longer and we’ll head up to the lake and I’ll get you some apples,” he told her. She shook her head once more but seemed finally seemed pacified. Raguna wiped his brow. The lake did sound refreshing, but his work came first. He went back to picking corn, humming a tune to himself as he went. The work was slow but satisfying as Betsy’s saddle bags filled with long awaited crops. The first harvest of the season always came with an air of triumph, a pat on the back for work well done. He looked over his rows of crops and was filled with pride. Though sometimes he missed his farm back in Kardia, Trampoli had become his home quickly and the work he had put into his new fields had been paying off extraordinarily.

Raguna pulled the last of his corn from the stalk and placed it in Betsy’s saddle bag, and led her through the fields to the shipping bin. Rosetta will be happy, he thought. He unloaded Betsy’s burden into the bin, placing the crops in neat stacks. Next to him, Betsy stamped her foot and let out a grunt. 

“What is it girl?” he asked, placing the last of the corn and standing to look where the buffaloo’s attention was held. Across the bridge, he saw a dark-haired figure coming down the path with a basket in his hands. Betsy grunted again and Raguna patted her on the neck.

“It’s only Kross, Betsy, you know him.” Kross had often come to his farm, mostly to see how his crops were going or make small-talk (or what passed as small-talk for Kross.) Betsy stamped her foot and let out a long moo. Kross stopped on the bridge for a moment, raising his head. Raguna ruffled Betsy’s mane and waved a hand toward the other man. 

“Hello there!” he said “Quite the heat wave today, huh?” Kross approached him and Betsy placing the basket on the ground.

“Yes, but the crops seem to enjoy it,” he said. He opened his mouth to say something else, but Betsy cut him off with another loud moo.

“I’m sorry,” Raguna said sheepishly. “I’m not sure what’s gotten into her.” Betsy huffed, and stomped past them, sticking her great head into Kross’ basket.

“Betsy no, that’s not for you!” Raguna said, trying to pull the monster from the basket. Betsy huffed again but complied. 

“That’s okay,” Kross said quietly, motioning to the basket, which Raguna now noticed was filled with apples. 

“Ah, that makes sense now,” he said. “She must have smelled the apples on your way here.”

Kross smiled, and Raguna noted that even his smile looked sad. Something about Kross made him want to take him into his house, give him a blanket and protect him from whatever it was that brought shadows into his eyes.

“She can have one if she wants, I brought them for you,” Kross told him, waving a hand towards the basket. Raguna’s heart did a little flip, but he wasn’t sure why.

“Thank you,” he stuttered. “Uh, you can feed her if you want.” Kross’ eyes widened at that.

“Are you sure it’s okay?” he asked

“Of course.”

Kross reached into the basket, pulling a ripe red apple out and tentatively held his hand out to Betsy, who gobbled up the apple in one bite. 

“I think you two are gonna be great friends now,” Raguna laughed. He stopped short at the distant look on Kross’ face.

“Monsters usually run away from me,” she said quietly. “I wonder why this one doesn’t”

“Who Betsy?” Raguna said trying to aim for levity. “She’s a big ol’ softie. I’m sure she can just sense you two are kindred spirits” Kross looked at him with widened eyes.

“You think so?” he asked. Raguna beamed at him.

“I do.”

Kross looked at Betsy, studying her for a moment, before reaching into his basket and feeding her another apple. Raguna couldn’t help the fondness he felt watching the two of them.

“Did you maybe want to go to the lake with us?” he asked. “Betsy’s itchin’ to go for a run and it’d be nice to get out of this heat.”

Kross smiled that sad smile of his and shook his head.

“No, I have work to do,” he said. “But Raguna?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you,” Kross said, looking at Raguna through his hair. Raguna felt his heart do that flip again and swallowed hard.

“No problem,” he said. “You’re welcome over here any time, okay?” Kross nodded, and picked up his basket, heading back up the path to his house. Raguna leaned against Betsy, who seemed put out that Kross took his apples with him.

“Well girl,” Raguna said, “I think I might just have it bad.” Betsy huffed. He climbed onto her back and led her into a walk. 

“Come on Betsy, let’s hit the lake.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A restless night and good company.

It was never quite easy to think too hard about his past. A blank space in his memory, a dark corner that he couldn’t find the light for, Raguna tried to keep positive but on the worst nights, he couldn’t shake the deep feeling of loss in him. He had started a journal, way back when he first came to Kardia, documenting every important part of his day, fearing that he may wake up one morning and lose the new memories he had made. He had kept with it even after he came to Trampoli. Lately, though, his journals had become about one person in particular.

_“Kross came over to the farm today. He never says much, I wonder what he thinks about.” ___

The light flickered next to him. Across the room, Jack, his wolf, let out a deep sigh. Raguna smiled. Jack was the first monster he had ever tamed back in Kardia, and the only one he hadn’t left behind with Camus when he went after Mist months ago. Jack was a loyal monster, and he couldn’t deal with the idea of leaving him behind. 

_“He always seems so sad. I wish I could do something for him." ___

Raguna slammed his journal shut, waking Jack in the process. Jack yawned, stretching his legs and Raguna shot him an apologetic look.

“Sorry boy, it’s turning into a rough night,” he said. Jack wagged his tail. Raguna sighed and put his journal away. He was loathe to put out the light, knowing tonight would be a night where he got no sleep. Too much was going through his head, the constant worry of who he used to be, the fear that he may someday lose what little memories he had and…Kross. 

It had been quite a few days since he had realized his feelings for the other man. There was something about Kross that had caught his attention from the get go. Maybe it was the sadness that seemed to hang around him like a cloud, or the gentleness he seemed to exude. Maybe it was this overwhelming sense that they were connected somehow, that they knew each others’ pain. 

Raguna kicked out of bed and put his boots on, whistling to Jack to join him.

“Wanna go on a walk, boy?” he asked. Jack yipped once, his tail wagging so fast it looked like it may fly off. Raguna chuckled. 

“Good boy. Let’s go.”

They left the house with a lantern in hand, heading up the path that lead to the large tree beside the church. The night air was cool in stark contrast to the scorching heat of the day. Beside him Jack trotted happily, just glad to be out with his master. Raguna patted him on the head. 

Despite the clear air, Raguna’s head was still muddled. They walked along the path with only the sound of Jack’s panting and the soft flicker of the lantern between them. Raguna tried whistling a song, but the melody fell flat on his lips. It was too much, and the blanket of night seemed to mirror the darkness n his mind.

They came to the tree and Raguna marveled once again at the beauty of it. In the night air the runeys floated gently, playfully almost. The tree towered over all the others, outlined by the moonlight it seemed taller than in the daylight. Raguna let out a breath. Finally he seemed to feel some peace.

A sound to his side out him on guard in an instant, suddenly cursing himself for leaving his weapon at home. Jack growled deep in his throat, raising his haunches, ready to attack. Raguna jumped back, ready to fight or fly at the first sign of a confrontation.

“There’s no need to startle. It’s only me,” said an overly familiar voice.

“Kross?” Raguna asked. He saw him now, just outside of the brush Kross sat cross-legged, staring up at Raguna and Jack.

“Yes, it’s me,” Kross said. Jack looked to his master, and lowered his guard. 

“What are you doing out here?” 

“I could ask you the same thing,” Kross shot back softly. Raguna stuttered.

“I…I couldn’t sleep.” He moved to Kross’ side and sat. Jack padded over and stretched himself over Raguna’s lap and sighed. He was rewarded with a scratch behind his ears. Kross was silent for a moment.

“Neither could I,” he finally said. Raguna nodded.

“Just one of those nights I suppose.”

They sat in silence for a while, watching the runeys float through the air. Raguna felt a strange contentment in being near him. He wanted to rest his head on his shoulder and fall asleep with the warmth of Kross’ body against his. He had thought often in the last few days what it would be like to kiss him, wondering if it would be as gentle as he believed it would be. There was an ache in his chest for that feeling, but he pushed it down.

“Do you…want to talk about it?” Kross finally asked, breaking the silence. Raguna chewed on his response for a bit. Did he want to talk about it?

“I just worry sometimes. About who I used to be, I mean. I wonder if I was a good person, I worry that I wasn’t. I don’t like not knowing,” he said in one breath. Kross was quiet, thoughtful.

“I don’t think a bad person would worry if they were a bad person. Even without your memories, you’re still you,” he said slowly. Raguna thought about that for a moment.

“Do you think it matters? Who we used to be? Do you think who we are now negates who we were before?” he asked. Kross was silent. Raguna wondered if he had said the wrong thing.

“I think all we can do is keep living,” Kross finally said. The glen seemed to echo the words like they carried a special importance. Raguna ran his hands through Jack’s fur.

“Thank you Kross. I think I understand now,” he murmured. Kross nodded. They sat for a while more in silence before Raguna spoke up again.

“So why couldn’t you sleep?”

“I suppose I have similar questions to yours,” Kross said quietly. He stood. “Good night, Raguna.”

Raguna sat, not knowing what to say as Kross walked away.Finally, he found his voice.

“Kross?”

“Yes Raguna?” 

“For what it’s worth, I think you’re not a bad person either,” Raguna said. For a moment, he thought he saw Kross smile.

“Good night, Raguna.”

“Good night, Kross.”

He was left alone in the glen, an ache in his chest but no more questions swirling through his head. He patted Jack on the head, stood, and left for home.

He didn’t sleep that night.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning was brisk. A wayward northern wind had picked up and brought with it a reprise from the oppressive heat that had settled itself over Trampoli. Raguna rolled out of bed at the break of dawn and tried to shake off a night of no rest. It was a Friday, and besides his usual chores he had nothing else planned so he resigned himself to a short day of work and an early night.

As he stood, Jack jumped to his feet, quickly padding over to his master. Raguna scratched him behind the ear.

“Morning, boy. You sleep well?” Jack yipped in response. 

“Well I’m glad one of us did,” Raguna said mournfully. He got dressed with Jack at his heels; he had long ago given up trying to get the wolf to stay put while he prepared for the day. After he dressed, he made his way to his bed to pull on his boots, and thought back to the night before. As much as he had been lamenting his own lost past, he couldn’t help but wonder what Kross’ story was. He seemed to understand, intimately, what it was like to worry over what was. Raguna tied the strings of his boots and let his foot fall with a thud. He sighed. It was odd realizing he didn’t know much about Kross at all. The other man was enigmatic, only giving pieces of himself in off-side comments. Raguna wanted to understand him, to maybe chase away those shadows. He sighed again and rubbed the top of Jack’s head.

“Time for work, pup,” he said with a half smile.

He began first with his barn. He always felt most at home with his monsters. Entering the barn, he was greeted by the growls, grunts, and chirps of his small hoard. Betsy was the first up, headbutting him lightly, and touching noses with Jack. Raguna patted her neck and offered her an apple from his pack. That woke up the others quickly, and soon he was surrounded, passing out treats to each of the monsters. After his rucksack was officially empty, he went to work, miking the buffamoos, collecting eggs and brushing the new growth of fuzz on his woolies. After he was done, he loaded up Betsy with her saddle bags, and paired her with Gurt, his goblin and sent them out to the fields to check for any crops in need of harvesting. With them on their way, he grabbed his watering can from where it sat in the corner of the barn, hopped on Eli, his elefun, and started out to water his crops. As he left the barn, his chitter, Puck, scurried past to start collecting grasses and weeds.

Despite his rough night, he loved mornings on his farm. As he and Eli watered, the other monsters went about their work happily. Jack trotted along behind him, watching the other monsters as though he were a pleased supervisor. Raguna smiled to himself. Maybe Kross was right about him, no one bad could take so much joy in doing what he did. 

As if on cue, Raguna spotted Kross coming over the bridge. As he approached, Betsy shook herself, and kicked up to trot over to him. Kross froze, seeming to brace for something, before Betsy stopped in front of him, and nudged him with her nose. Raguna laughed and led Eli to where Kross and Betsy stood.

“What did I tell ya? You’re her best friend now,” he said, dismounting. Kross tentatively patted her on the nose.

“Best...friend. Huh,” Kross said, testing the words on his lips. Raguna noted the genuine surprise. He wondered how long it had been since someone had called Kross their friend.

“So what brings you out my way?” Raguna asked, leaning against Eli. Kross fiddled with the leather bands on his wrists.

“You were upset last night. I came to see if you were alright,” he said. A warm feeling spread in Raguna’s chest. 

“Ah, thank you. Yeah, I’m feeling better, I think,” Raguna stammered. Kross nodded but didn’t say anything. He turned his attention back to Betsy, petting her great mane. 

“You like monsters don’t you, Kross?” Raguna asked. Kross turned a light shade of pink.

“Yes,” he responded quietly. Raguna remembered what he had said the last time he was on the farm. “Monsters usually run away from me.” Raguna felt an ache in his chest. It must really hurt his feelings, he thought. 

“Well, my monsters seem to like you, too,” he said. “Why don’t you come back over tomorrow, and I’ll introduce you to the whole family.” Kross’ eyes went wide. 

“I mean, if that’s okay,” he said. Raguna beamed.

“Of course it’s okay.”

“Well, I guess...I’ll see you tomorrow,” Kross said.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Kross.”

The next day came quickly. Raguna had turned in early the night before and slept soundly for the first time in a while. He woke the next morning feeling invigorated, ready to start a new day, and if he was smiling just a bit wider at the thought of Kross spending the day with him, he wouldn’t admit it. A knock came at the door shortly after he had dressed. Jack immediately rose to attention and let out a whine. 

“It’s okay, boy, it’s Kross,” Raguna told him, patting him on the head as he passed. He opened the door to find Kross looking slightly apprehensive. 

“Good morning!” Raguna greeted him.

“Good morning,” Kross responded, smiling faintly. 

“Ready to go?”

Kross nodded. They set out in the direction of the barn, and Raguna realized the last time Kross had been out to the barn was when he had built it.

“It’ll be a little hectic when we first get in,” he explained, breaking himself out of his thoughts, “but they’ll settle down once they get their treats. Here.” He handed Kross his rucksack. 

“You can feed Betsy her apple since you’re already friends,” he said, winking. Kross blushed, seemingly pleased that he could call the giant buffaloo his friend. 

When they entered the barn, just as Raguna had explained, it was a free-for-all. The monsters crowded around the two men, looking for their treats. Kross fed Betsy as Raguna shuffled to feed the other hungry mouths, laughing as they took their treats and ran off to stuff their mouths.

“What’d I tell ya?” Raguna said. “You alright?”

“Yes, they’re very spirited,” Kross marveled. 

“That they are. Come on, I’ll make the introductions.” Raguna lead him through the barn, up to his buffamoos.

“This is Lyla and Debbie, they’re sweet girls, though Debbie gave me this while I was trying to tame her,” Raguna explained, showing Kross a particularly nasty scar on the side of his arm. Debbie snorted. The buffamoo was missing an eye and had a long scar down her muzzle. Raguna could only assume she lost it in a fight with another buffamoo. “Lara was pretty sore when I came in for stitches.”

“She hurt you, and you still wanted to be friends with her?” Kross asked.

“Well, that’s part of gaining their trust,” Raguna said. Kross nodded but didn’t say anything else. Raguna decided it was time to move on. 

“You’ve already met Betsy and Jack. Over here is Puck, he’s a bit energetic, but what chitter isn’t? Gurt’s my old man; he gets cranky when the weather’s bad. Eli is a big lug who thinks he’s a lap dog, and Molly and Pepper are my woolies. I just sheared them a few days ago so they’re a little shy right now. I think Blob is sleeping around here somewhere; the slimes are nocturnal, y’know?” Raguna went on, introducing each monster to Kross individually, letting him pet the ones that would be pet. Occasionally, Kross would ask a question about their personalities, or where Raguna had tamed them, or what job they did around the farm. Raguna couldn’t help but feel like a proud parent showing off his children. Once they had finished introductions, Raguna set to work, inviting Kross to help milk the buffamoos, which was gently denied. Raguna couldn’t hold it against him. Debbie did cut an intimidating silhouette. 

After the work was completed, and the monsters set about their chores, Kross and Raguna sat back on the hill near the river. Raguna reached into his rucksack and pulled out a small bag of homemade cookies and offered one to Kross.

“Thank you,” Kross said taking the cookie.

“It’s no problem. I’ve got plenty.”

“No. Not just for the cookie. Just...thank you.”

Raguna chewed on his lip for a moment.

“Anytime Kross. You’re welcome here anytime,” he said. That warm feeling in his chest reappeared. He wanted to tell Kross. He wanted to share his feelings with him, but something in him kept him silent. A nagging part of his brain that wouldn’t turn off. Raguna took a bite of his cookie, barely tasting it.

“You know, we should do this more often,” Raguna said finally. “You know, spend time together.” Kross turned a shade of pink and dropped his head, letting his hair drape over his face. Raguna resisted the urge to gently tuck his hair behind his ear.

“I’d like that,” Kross said. “I’d really like that.”

The rest of the day went too quick. As the evening wound down, and hours after Kross had gone home, Raguna lay in his bed, writing in his journal.

_Things to remember: the way his hair falls when he’s nervous, the sound of his voice, the way he smells (like sawdust and fresh soil,) the way he sings, the way he makes me feel... ___

Raguna closed his journal. He went to sleep, dreaming of blue eyes and soft black hair.


	4. Chapter 4

The storm had hit without warning. The soft gray clouds had turned violent in a heartbeat, pulling Kross and Raguna out of their conversation like they were weeds. There had been no time for discussion. Raguna pulled Kross into his home, slamming the door shut and locking it, as he tried to catch his breath. Kross seemed just as rattled as he was.

“Are you okay?” Raguna asked, breathless. Kross looked at him wide-eyed, but nodded. Raguna slumped to the floor. He took a couple of deep breaths to calm himself. Kross tentatively sat beside him as the wind howled outside and the rain pounded on the windows. Raguna checked off a mental list of his farm: crops would probably be ruined, money would be tight, but he’d make it. His fields would be thrashed, but a few days of hard work would get that back to normal, no need to worry, and his monsters were all safe in his barn except….

“Jack!” he shouted, jumping up. “Where’s Jack?” Kross gaped at him.

“He wasn’t with us,” he responded quietly. Raguna’s heart dropped. He lowered himself back to the ground, feeling tears prick at his eyes. No, no, no, no, he couldn’t lose Jack. He tried to replay the day in his head. Where had the wolf gone? He couldn’t remember. Damn it, how could he call himself a farmer, an Earth Mate, if he couldn’t watch out for his best friend? The wind outside thrashed at his small home and Raguna felt sick. How could he leave Jack out in that? He let himself fall into despair, clutching his chest and letting out a choked sob. The tears wouldn’t stop, and Raguna barely noticed when Kross moved to put an arm around him. He moved into the touch, unthinking, and pressed his face into the crook of Kross’ neck letting the tears flow. Kross rubbed his back in small, slow circles, humming a soft tune as Raguna cried. 

They stayed like that for he didn’t know how long, nothing between them but the sound of Raguna’s grief and the storm raging outside. After a while, Raguna’s tears subsided, more from fatigue than from a lessening of the pain. He stayed in Kross’ arms, too tired to move.

“He may be okay,” Kross finally said. “Monsters are smart, they know how to survive.” Raguna sniffled, and nodded. There was hope; Jack was a smart boy. 

“Thank you, Kross,” Raguna murmured into his neck. As he came back to his senses, he realized that he was still clutching onto Kross as though his life depended on it. Reluctantly, he moved away, sitting back against the door. Kross curled his feet underneath him, letting his hair fall over his face. They sat in silence for a long time, Raguna flinching every time a branch hit his roof. When he first heard the whining, he thought it may be his imagination playing cruel tricks on him, but yet…no, he definitely heard whining. He shot to his feet, startling Kross.

“Jack? Is that you, boy?” he asked, his eyes scanning the house for any sign of the wolf. He heard the whining again, and followed the sound as best he could. He ducked under the bed, and there, huddled into a ball was Jack.

“Jack! Oh thank goodness,” he cried. He pulled the unwilling wolf out from under the bed and wrapped his arms around him, burying his face in his fur. Jack whined, and wriggled from out of his grip, returning to his place under the bed. Raguna laughed, tears of relief falling from his eyes. He wiped them away and looked back to Kross, who was smiling the happiest smile Raguna had ever seen him muster. His heart did a flip in his chest. Now that Jack was safe and sound, he realized he was being a horrible host.

“Ah, I’m sorry, Kross, you don’t have to sit on the floor, have a seat,” he said, standing and making his way to the table. He quickly gathered the letters that had been haphazardly thrown there and shuffled them into a neat stack, placing them at the center of the table. Kross rose, and pulled a chair out to sit.

“Thank you,” he said. “I’m glad Jack is alright, though shaken as he is.” Raguna took a seat next to him.

“Yeah, I don’t know what I would have done if–well, I’m glad I don’t have to find out,” Raguna responded. “Are you hungry? I can make us something to eat.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Kross answered softly, and, (maybe it was his imagination) he thought he saw Kross blush.

“It’s no trouble,” Raguna answered. He stood and went to his refrigerator to see what he had to work with. He decided on a veggie stir fry. As he cooked, he stole glances at Kross. He couldn’t help but think about how Kross had comforted him without a second thought, how he smelled (like sawdust and fresh soil,) about how much he wished he could be in his arms again. Raguna pulled back to reality as he realized he was going to burn his veggies.

“It’s ready,” he said, grabbing two plates and distributing equal shares to himself and Kross. He put the plates down at the table and sat, and Kross thanked him before digging in. 

“This is good,” Kross said around a bit of food. Raguna smiled at him.

“Thank you. Do you cook Kross?” Kross made a face and Raguna laughed. 

“That’s a no then?” he said. 

“I never learned,” Kross said distantly. “I always had people cook for me, and then they were gone.” Raguna’s food suddenly felt heavy in his stomach.

“Where did they go?” he asked. Kross smiled sadly, pushing his empty plate away from him.

“I left to a place they couldn’t follow,” Kross replied cryptically. Raguna watched him, noting the dark circles under his eyes and the way his forehead crinkled. He wished he could give him some comfort, but he had no words.

“Well,” he said after a moment’s pause, “if you ever need a home-cooked meal, you can come over any time.” Kross didn’t respond. They sat in silence for a long time, until finally the winds died down and they felt it was safe to return outside.

Raguna walked Kross to the door, opening it to ruined fields, but calm skies. Kross paused at the threshold, staring out at the destruction for a moment before speaking.

“You probably shouldn’t get so close to me,” Kross said, smiling his sad smile, looking at Raguna through his hair. “You’re a good man, Raguna.” Raguna blinked, and Kross left, walking slowly up the path to his home, carefully avoiding fallen branches. Raguna felt as though he had been punched in the stomach. Had he been to obvious in his affections? Had he scared Kross away? He stood in front of the open door, swirling with fear and frustration until he couldn’t think on it anymore.

He closed the door and went to bed.


	5. Chapter 5

Raguna hadn’t seen Kross in days, and he felt the loss deep in his heart. It was a rainy summer day, and the there was a cool breeze signally the first signs of autumn poking out its head. Raguna leaned on Betsy as she grazed, Jack at his side. The wolf whined, feeling his master’s pain. Raguna patted him on the head. 

“It’s alright, boy,” he lied. His fields were still in disarray, but slowly they were getting back to normal. Most of his crops had been destroyed, and with summer almost over, Raguna had no time to plant new ones. On top of the crops, the roof of his barn had been partially destroyed. Until today, it hadn’t been a problem, but with the rain coming, he had had to do his best to make shelter for his monsters. He had barred off the part of the barn that leaked with a bit of lumber, stopping the water from leaking in further as well as keeping his monsters from wandering into the downpour. It was a bandage solution though, and he knew he’d have to get it fixed, but that meant going to Kross, and he wasn’t sure he was ready to see him. He patted Betsy on the back, leading her into the barn and out of the rain. It was for his monsters, he reminded himself. They didn’t deserve to go without because he was heartbroken. He decided that in the morning, he would go to Kross.

The next morning brought gentle sunshine, and Raguna laid in bed, his chest filled with anxiety. Beside him, Jack whined.

“I know, pup, I’m going,” he said. He slid out of bed, and dressed slowly. There was a lethargy in his bones, a deep aching sadness. He didn’t want to move. He wanted to stay in his bed. For my monsters, he reminded himself. Raguna pulled on his boots and whistled for Jack before heading out the door and making his way to his barn to feed his monsters. 

The barn was muggy, the captured water mingling with the heat of the day to make a miserable climate of its own. Raguna felt a pang of guilt. His monsters didn’t deserve this. He fed them quickly, and then left the barn with a promise on his lips that he’d fix it for them. With Jack in tow, he took the path from his farm, crossing the bridge and up to Kross’ house. 

He expected to find Kross in his fields or working on his house, but the other man wasn’t outside. Raguna flinched looking at Kross’ ruined crops. He made is way to the door, and knocked. There was a pause before he heard Kross’ voice.

“Come in,” he said, and Raguna did. Inside, Kross was sitting at his table, blueprints set out in front of him. His hair fell in front of his face, and Raguna ached to run his fingers through it. He swallowed hard.

“Kross?” he said, and only then did Kross look up. He looked shocked to see him, and Raguna resisted the urge to tell him nevermind and leave, but he stood his ground.

“Uh, I was wondering if you could do some work on my barn? The roof is leaking,” he said, though it was an understatement. Kross seemed to finally shake himself out of his stupor, and he nodded. He stood.

“Show me the problem?” he asked. Raguna nodded, and exited the house. He felt awkward, like he was talking to a stranger rather than the man he had shared so much with over the past few weeks. He wanted to yell, to demand answers from Kross, but he didn’t have it in him. He lead Kross to his barn, showing him the damage.

“Huh, yes, I can finish this today,” Kross told him. Raguna nodded. 

“So do you need me here, or...?” he said. Kross looked at the ground.

“You can stay if you want,” he said. Raguna was torn. He turned to leave, then thought, no, he wasn’t done.

“Did I do something wrong, Kross?” he asked. Kross, who was fiddling in his bag, stopped and looked up at him. They held eye contact for just a minute before Kross looked down again.

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong, Raguna,” he said. 

“Then why--”

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said what I said,” Kross interrupted. “I--I just don’t want you to get hurt. And I see I’ve hurt you anyway. I apologize.”

“I--I accept your apology, Kross,” Raguna said, feeling a weight drop off his shoulders. He breathed out. “Does this mean we can go back to being friends?”

“Friends,” Kross repeated, bridging the gap between them. Raguna felt as though he were in a dream. Suddenly his vision was hazy as Kross ran a hand through his hair. He leaned down and brought their lips together. Raguna was stunned for an instant, before melting into the kiss. It was soft, and gentle, just like he’d always pictured kissing Kross would be like. Just the barest brushes of lips to lips, as Kross cupped his face in his hands. Raguna held onto his wrists, hoping the moment would never end. When it did, Raguna was loathe to open his eyes, to risk losing that feeling. Finally he did, looking into Kross’ soft blue eyes. 

“Was that alright?” Kross asked gently. Raguna huffed a laugh.

“It was more than alright, Kross. Can we, can we do it again?” he asked. Kross breathed out, smiling. He brought them together again, kissing Raguna much more firmly, less chaste. Raguna felt his head spinning. They parted, breathless, looking at each other in wonder. Raguna laughed, giddy.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted you to do that,” he said. Kross blushed.

“We could always do it some more,” he said, then looked up at the barn ceiling. “After I finish your roof that is.” Raguna beamed.

“I’d like that,” he admitted. “Why don’t I make you some lunch in the meantime?” Kross smiled.

“I’d like that.”


	6. Intermission

Heavy rain fell on the roof of Raguna’s house, but the two inside didn’t mind. They were curled up in Raguna’s bed, warm and dry, and barely aware of the noise outside. Raguna’s head was tucked under Kross’ chin, and Kross was running his hand up and down Raguna’s back, humming softly. Raguna sighed. In the weeks before their first kiss, he had never thought this could happen, but here they were, holding each other as Jack slept beside the bed and the rain sang outside. 

He had learned a lot about Kross in the few weeks since they had kissed. How he moved, how he laughed, what made him smile, and what made him sad. He’d learned that Kross didn’t sleep well, and they had taken to spending the night together, comforting each other on the nights when sleep was out of reach. This was such a night. Raguna wondered what it was that plagued Kross’ mind. He was loathe to talk about it, and Raguna tried to be understanding of that. He snuggled his head closer to Kross’ chest.

“Is there something on your mind?” Kross asked. Raguna thought for a bit before responding.

“I was thinking about how I’d like to know more about you,” he finally said. He felt Kross tense ever so slightly.

“What...would you like to know?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Raguna admitted. “Where are you from? What was your childhood like? What brought you out here? Just stuff like that.” Kross was silent for a time, idly running his fingers through Raguna’s hair.

“I come from a place very far from here,” Kross started, resting his chin on Raguna’s head. “My childhood was happy. I had a lot of friends. It was just me and Mother, until she died of the lung sickness when I was seventeen. After that well...” He drifted off, his fingers falling still in Raguna’s hair.

“Kross?” Raguna called. He felt Kross swallow hard. 

“Kross?” Raguna said again, tearing himself gently from the other man’s embrace. Kross seemed far off, his eyes glazed over like he was somewhere else. Raguna put a hand to his neck, and Kross snapped back to reality with a small gasp of breath.

“Are you okay?” Raguna asked. Kross was shaking slightly. Raguna pulled him close again, with his head resting on Raguna’s chest. Kross didn’t answer right away. He seemed very focused on breathing in and out evenly. Raguna rubbed circles on his back. 

“It’s still difficult,” he heard Kross say, “to think about. I’m sorry.” Raguna shook his head.

“No, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to push you,” he said. They stayed that way for a while, with Kross on his chest, evening his breathing and Raguna rubbing his back. Finally, Kross pulled away slightly, looking into Raguna’s eyes, as his fingers found his way back up into his hair.

“Thank you for caring,” he said. “I want to share everything with you, it’s just...”

“I understand,” Raguna said. “At your own pace, okay?” Kross nodded.

“Okay,” he said. Raguna pressed forward and Kross took his meaning and kissed him softly. Raguna was sure he’d never tire of kissing Kross. He was soft, and warm, and his lips were so gentle against his. He pressed closer, and Kross deepened the kiss to something brighter, more passionate, as he wound his hands in Raguna’s hair. They kissed until the room was spinning, and Raguna broke the kiss for air. Kross stared into his eyes, dazed in a more pleasant way than he had been before. 

“I love you, Kross,” he said, the words tumbling out before he had a chance to think about them. Kross’ eyes widened, a pink tint covering his cheeks.

“I...I love you too,” he said, almost reverently. Raguna beamed, giddy. He pulled Kross close, catching him in another kiss. Their legs tangled under the blankets as they pressed as close as they could, a more intense heat between them than ever before. They spent the night in each others’ company, exploring each other until daybreak. Raguna was tired and sore the next day, but he decided it was the best sleepless night he’d ever had.

As he worked, happy and content in his fields, he was unaware of the new stranger setting up his home across the river. Kross watched him from where he sat on his roof with growing apprehension. 

_Not now. Not after all I’ve done to make a home. I’m not going back. I’m not. ___


	7. Chapter 7

Kross woke up in a bed that wasn’t his, with Raguna’s warm body beside him. He turned, pulling Raguna into his arms, breathing in his gentle scent. This was more than he could have ever imagined. He thought back to a time where this is all he wanted, to be loved and love in return. It seemed like ages ago. He had long given up on believing he was worth such a thing. Even now, knowing that Raguna didn’t know the truth about who he was, what he’d done, he feared he still may not be.

He pushed that fear down, burying his face in Raguna’s soft hair. He was tired and all he wanted was this moment of respite. In his arms, Raguna made a soft sound as he woke, looking dazed for a moment, before smiling slow and sweet and snuggling in closer to Kross. 

“Good morning,” Kross whispered. Raguna hummed in response. Outside the sun was barely rising, casting it’s warm light on the crisp yellowing leaves of the early autumn trees. A cool wind danced its way through the land, promising more chilly times ahead, but inside, neither man feared the cold. 

“Time to wake up already?” Raguna finally said, stretching in Kross’ arms. 

“You have a little more time,” Kross responded. Raguna wrapped his arms around Kross once more, laying his head on his shoulder.

“Oh good,” he murmured. “Got a lot of work to do today. Not sure I’m ready for it just yet.” Kross smiled. They stayed that way until they heard the sound of Annette’s footsteps outside, and the gentle clamor as she filled Raguna’s mailbox. Kross kissed Raguna once, before sliding out of bed, and Raguna followed, side-stepping Jack as the wolf stretched into wakefulness.

“Too early for you too, boy?” Raguna asked with a yawn. Jack wagged his tail in response. Kross’ chest swelled with fondness. It had all become so comfortable, so much like home. 

They readied for the day in comfortable silence, kissing at the door before Kross left to tend his own land. He walked down the path to his house, a small smile on his face as he went. As he crossed the bridge, his smile fell and his stomach sank. His new neighbor stood outside his house, his arms crossed in front of his chest as he gazed across the land. Kross ducked his head, letting his hair veil his face. He walked a bit quicker, not making eye contact as he scrambled to his house, closing the door tight behind him. His heart hammered in his chest. He wondered what that man was waiting for. He must know. The cabinet in the corner of Kross’ room seemed to stand out. He wondered…he wondered if he should take matters into his own hands. The thought scared him. He sunk down to the ground, holding his head in his hands. No, no, no, no, he was not that person anymore. Kross took in a shaky breath. He tried to ground himself, but the weight of his past came crashing down on him. He didn’t deserve the comfort Raguna provided him with, he told himself. He deserved to suffer.

Kross wasn’t sure how long he sat there, his thoughts eating him alive, expecting the door to come crashing down on him as his neighbor finally came for him. He couldn’t go back. He couldn’t.

Night came quickly. Kross had barely recovered from earlier that day, but had managed to water his crops before shutting himself down in his house for the remainder of the day. As night fell, Kross packed a bag, and made his way back over to Raguna’s. His thoughts swirled. Maybe it was time to tell him, get this weight off his chest, come what may. The thought nearly sent him into a panic, and he stopped short in his stride, rubbing his forehead and breathing deep. As he stood, he saw a figure running in the distance, coming from Raguna’s house and gaining ground towards him. Kross froze. It was his new neighbor. His mind went through all possibilities at once, and for the first time in years, he wished he had a weapon. 

As his neighbor grew nearer, Kross braced himself, widening his stance. Weapon be damned, he wasn’t going to go without a fight. His neighbor was almost upon him now, and he slowed his breathing, waiting.

His neighbor ran straight by him, and Kross’ shoulders sunk in confusion as he watched the man run into his house and slam the door shut. He waited for a moment, his adrenaline still expecting a fight, before he finally turned and made his way to Raguna’s house. He might as well be confused and warm, he reasoned.

He came to Raguna’s door, knocking twice and waiting. Raguna opened the door slow, peering out through a crack before recognizing Kross and opening it all the way.

“Kross! Were you just here a moment ago?” Raguna asked. Kross raised an eyebrow in confusion.

“No, I’m here now,” he said simply. Raguna couldn’t help but laugh at that.

“Yeah, I see that. It’s just, I don’t know, someone knocked at the door a moment ago, and when I answered it, no one was there,” Raguna explained. 

“Oh,” Kross said, the pieces clicking into place in his mind. “My new neighbor was running from your house a moment ago.”

“Who? Brodik?” Raguna asked. 

“Is that his name?” Kross asked. Raguna put his hands up near his head, making v’s with his thumb and forefinger near his forehead.

“Spiky hair and wears belts around his arms?” he asked. Kross tried not to laugh at how ridiculous Raguna looked.

“Yes, him,” Kross said. 

“Yeah, that’s Brodik. He’s never been particularly friendly to me, but I don’t know why he’d do something so juvenile,” Raguna went on. Kross felt guilt heavy in his stomach.

“I don’t know,” he lied. “Can I come in?” 

“Oh! Yes, of course, Kross,” Raguna said. He stood up on his tiptoes, kissing Kross once before stepping aside so the other man could enter. Jack stood from where he was laying by the bed. He trotted over, butting his head on Kross’ hand, and Kross complied, scratching the wolf behind the ears. He dropped his bag beside the bed, sitting down and sighing. Raguna sat beside him.

“You okay?” he asked. Kross bit the inside of his cheek. 

“It’s…been a trying day,” Kross said. It wasn’t a lie, at least. Raguna wrapped an arm around his shoulder, and Kross melted into him. 

“Anything you wanna talk about?” Raguna asked. Kross turned to him, cupping his face in his hand.

“No, I just want to be with you,” he said, the desperate sincerity of it resounding through the small house. Raguna placed his hand on Kross’, kissing the inside of his wrist. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” Raguna reassured him. Kross pulled him into a tight hug.

“Neither am I,” Kross promised, more to himself. “Neither am I.”


	8. Chapter 8

Kross lay awake with a nagging anxiety in his chest. He was in his own bed, leaving Raguna to rest after the day’s events, but he did not sleep. Brodik had gone to far. Unleashing a golem like that...

It had thrashed Raguna’s fields, could have seriously hurt him, and Kross felt the guilt of it all weigh on his shoulders, heavier than ever. He had tried to protect Raguna, pushing away that boulder, and doing his best to deter Brodik in his other attempts to run Raguna out. It was tiring, and Kross was sure Raguna had noticed him becoming distant again, He’d said nothing, too polite to press, but Kross couldn’t bear the confusion and hurt he was causing. It had to end. One way or another it had to end. A tear leaked from Kross’ eye, and he let it go its course, down his face. He didn’t want it to end. He didn’t want to face who he was, or worse, let Raguna see who he was. But if his cowardice got Raguna hurt, he’d never be able to live with himself. Curling into himself, he let the pain take over, sobbing into his pillow, his arms doing their best to keep his chest in one piece as a pain too deep wracked his body. There was no peace for him. He knew he didn’t deserve it, but hope had been such a sweet taste in his mouth, to have it snatched from him was too much. 

Nothing would break his resolve, though. He would see it to the end. He would protect Raguna, no matter what.  
\---

Morning came with rain, and Kross found it fitting. He dressed slowly, ignoring his fields for the day, figuring it didn’t matter much anymore, anyway. He left his house, and instead of turning to the path that lead to Raguna’s farm, he went straight, coming to Brodik’s door. With a deep breath, he knocked at the door and waited. 

Nothing.

He knocked again, louder, and waited. Still nothing. Looking behind his shoulder, he checked to make sure no one was behind him, then shouldered the door, applying just the right pressure for the lock to fall free, and he entered an empty house. Standing in the doorway, his heart sank. Where was he? A thousand different situations ran through his mind, and he fought all of them. Raguna, he needed to see Raguna. 

Coming to Raguna’s front door, he knocked, and it even sounded frantic to him. Behind the door, he heard Jack yip, and Raguna’s voice attempting to calm him. Kross relaxed minutely, and when Raguna opened the door, it was everything he could do to not grab the other man in his arms and run out of town with him. The thought of it nearly bought a hysteric laugh to his lips, and we really wondered if he was losing it. 

“Kross, you can come in,” Raguna said, eyeing him worriedly. Kross shook himself from his thoughts, walking in. 

“Are you okay?” he asked. Raguna closed the door and turned to him.

“Honestly, I was going to ask you the same,” he replied. Kross didn’t respond and Raguna sighed.

“I’m okay,” he said. “It’s just...”

“Just?”

“I got a letter from Brodik today,” he finished. Kross’ stomach dropped. Pushing past Jack, who was entirely not used to being ignored, Raguna grabbed the letter from his table and handed it to Kross, who read it, fear growing with each word he read.

“A challenge?” he asked. “Why?” Raguna shrugged.

“Why has he been doing any of this?” he replied. Kross swallowed.

“About that...”

“Don’t worry yourself about it,” Raguna said, putting his hands on Kross’ shoulders. “You’ve been a great help, but I’ve got to face this myself.” Kross shook his head fervently.

“No, you don’t,” he said. Raguna smiled at him.

“I can handle Brodik, really,” he assured. “Maybe it won’t come to a fight, maybe we can just talk.”

“He doesn’t want to talk,” Kross persisted. Everything was too much. He had to tell him. He had to. “Raguna...”

“Really, don’t worry about me,” Raguna said, cutting him off. “I’m just going to head to the ruins and get this sorted out. I’ll even take Jack if it makes you feel better.” He stood up on tiptoes, and pressed a quick kiss on Kross’ cheek before whistling for Jack, and grabbing his broadsword. 

“Please,” Kross whispered, too soft for Raguna to hear as he walked out the door. “Please don’t go.”  
\---

Ten minutes of restless pacing went by before Kross decided to go after him. He didn’t know how far Raguna could have gone by now, so he all but ran to the ruins. With no weapon, he ran past the monsters, dodging their attacks deftly as he made his way after Raguna. Not for the first time, he wondered if any god would listen to his prayers as he prayed for safety, if not his own. He made it to the place where Raguna was just in time to see the massive golem rise up and turn on Brodik. He flinched as the golem’s fist connected with Brodik’s body, crumpling him as though he were made of paper.

“Brodik!” Raguna called out, trying to get past the monster to reach the injured man. The golem reared, and brought its fist down hard, Raguna barely managing to dodge.

“Raguna!” Kross shouted, and the other man swirled, startled. “Don’t worry about Brodik, I’ve got him.” Raguna nodded, and drew his sword. Jack raised up on his haunches, ready to fight for his master. Kross didn’t have time to watch though. He dodged past the golem to where Brodik lay.

“Mmmh?” Brodik moaned as Kross came up beside him. He tried to sit up, but Kross pushed him back down, perhaps not as gently as he should. 

“Stay down,” he said, his voice holding more force than it had in years. It startled both of them, and Brodik looked at him like he was seeing him for the first time. Maybe he was.

“Raguna is currently fighting for both your lives, perhaps you should take care to not die before he saves you from the monster you brought,” Kross went on through gritted teeth. He was angry, and though he tried to fight it, it still bubbled to the surface. Thankfully, Brodik simply nodded before passing out. Kross looked up as the golem crashed to the ground, defeated. Raguna was breathing heavily, but both he and Jack were in one piece, and Kross let out the breath he had been holding.

“Is Brodik alright?” Raguna called. Kross nodded.

“He should be. Let’s get him to Lara just in case,” he conceded, though a large part of him wished they could simply leave him here to rot. He’d feel guilty about that later, but at the moment, he didn’t feel forgiving. He tossed Brodik over his shoulder unceremoniously, and he and Raguna made their way out of the ruins in silence.  
\---

“What happened?” Lara asked, spinning on Raguna and Kross after tending to Brodik’s wounds. The clinic was far too small for the emotions running through Kross’ mind. He didn’t want it to be like this. Lara had always been kind to him, Raguna had given him the love he thought he’d never deserve, to have to reveal himself in front of both of them was a sick way for the world to get its revenge on him for the pain he’d caused. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. “This is all my fault.” Raguna shot him a confused look.

“Kross? This isn’t your fault,” Raguna said, touching his arm. Kross backed away from the touch like a spooked animal. He couldn’t look at the hurt on Raguna’s face, so he went on.

“Brodik is a special agent from the Zzyzx Empire. He was sent here to retrieve a defected agent. An agent who left because he was tired of hurting, lying, and killing in the name of the Empire. But they would never let him go in peace.” He paused, crossing his arms over his chest. He felt numb, like he was recounting a story about someone else, someplace else. The truth lurked over him, waiting to swoop when he was weak.

“He thinks Raguna’s that agent, but he’s wrong.”

“You’re wrong!” Brodik shouted, trying to rise from the bed. Lara was at his side in an instant.

“Lie down, you’ll reopen your wounds!” Lara scolded. Brodik brushed her off.

“The report said the man had dark hair, blue eyes and was skilled with a sword,” he argued. Kross felt all eyes in the room turn to him. 

“Dark hair, and blue eyes,” Lara repeated, and Kross smiled sadly. 

“Former Zzyzx Empire Special Agent Weber,” he said, “was my previous name.” Kross turned to Raguna, and the shock on his face broke something in him. The truth had found its moment, and it was clawing him alive.

“I should have told you sooner,” he said, soft enough that only Raguna could hear him. “I’m sorry.”

He turned and left the clinic, hearing Raguna shout his name as he left. 

He didn’t turn back.


	9. Chapter 9

Kross stood at the crossroads at the edge of town not sure what to do. Nearly everything in him begged him not to take that step, not to go, to turn back to Raguna, and hope this would all go away, but his rabbit heart told him to run with every beat. He wrapped his arms tight around himself and wished he could just be split in two so he wouldn’t have to make the decision. 

The light sprinkle of rain splattered his shoulders. It was nearly nightfall. He hadn’t realized how long they’d been in the clinic with Brodik. Smiling sourly, he recalled how they always used to say he did his best work at night. Had he had the same fight in him he had as a soldier, he’d yell at the sky to do its worst, but he simply wasn’t that person anymore. Whatever fight had been in him had died with his old name. He spent the last few years existing as a way to pass time, filling the days with whatever he could do to keep busy and push away the dark memories. He’d knew never bet he’d be able to atone. He thought he’d never find peace. Until Raguna came into his life, with his smile and warmth, and he’d given Kross something to hold on to. The shadows were still there, but they were held at bay. Now, they attacked him at full force.

Footsteps behind him shook him out of his thoughts, and he turned, quick, on his heel to face them. Light blue eyes made his throat tight.

“Raguna,” he said. Raguna faced him with worry in his expression. He huddled against the rain, and in that moment Kross realized how cold he was. The urge to step forward and wrap his arms around the other man hit strong, but he took a step back instead. 

“Kross--”

“You should go,” Kross said sadly. “I should have known better than thinking the past can be left in the past.”

“Kross, no,” Raguna pleaded. His urgency startled Kross, and the hopeful, traitorous voice in his heart said “maybe it’ll be okay.” 

“I’m not who you thought I was. It was selfish of me to keep it from you. I’m not--” His voice failed him for a moment. He took a deep breath. “I’m not a good person, Raguna.”

“That’s buffaloo shit and you know it, Kross,” Raguna nearly shouted. The rain was heavier now, pelting them. “You told me once, remember? You told me, ‘A bad person wouldn’t worry whether they’re a bad person.’ You’re here now. A bad person wouldn’t have left. A bad person wouldn’t care about the people they hurt.” He took a deep breath. “Are you ever going to forgive _you _?”__

__“How can I?” Kross said, barely above a whisper. His arms tightened around himself. Raguna put a hand on his arm, and Kross didn’t have the energy to shake him off._ _

__“First, how about we get out of the rain?” Raguna said softly. Kross met his eyes, and something in him broke. He couldn’t be sure if it was rain or tears on his cheeks, but he nodded._ _

__He allowed himself to be led back to Raguna’s house. Sitting on the bed as Jack sniffed at him, he dried off with a towel from Raguna’s cabinet. He was soaked through, and the towel did little to help, but he still passed it off to Raguna as the other man made cocoa at his stove. They sipped their drinks in silence as Kross tried not to notice the way Raguna watched him. He wondered if he was finally seeing him. Truly seeing him. He didn’t want to know what he found in it. When they finished their cocoa, he got up to leave, but Raguna asked him to stay, and there was no way he could say no._ _

__They shed their wet clothes and huddled into the bed. Raguna wrapped his arms around Kross, and, for a moment, it was like nothing had changed. Kross buried his face in Raguna’s hair._ _

__“You said once, that you wanted to know more about me,” Kross whispered. “I want to tell you.” Raguna pulled him a little closer._ _

__“I want to listen.”_ _

__And Kross told him. He talked about his childhood, his friends. He talked about his mother, how she was a gentle woman, who had raised him to live in harmony with nature. He told him about how the lung sickness had ran rampant through his rat spit village, took his mom, almost took him too. How he’d turned to the Empire’s military to feed himself. How he’d risen through the ranks with the blood of the Empire’s enemies. The friends he’d made in its ranks, the friends he’d lost. How he’d lost himself. How he found himself again, but too late. Everything that had led him to Trampoli laid bare between their shared space. He talked until his throat hurt and his eyes stung with unshed tears. When he finished, Raguna was silent for a stretch, and Kross wondered if it was finally too much for him. It wasn’t until he felt hot tears on his shoulder that he realized Raguna was crying._ _

__“Raguna?” he questioned. Raguna shook his head._ _

__“I’m sorry, Kross. I’m sorry you had to carry that for so long,” he said. Kross swallowed hard. He didn’t know what to say to that, he just pulled Raguna closer. A weariness had settled deep into him, and within a few moments, he was fast asleep.  
\---_ _

__Kross woke before Raguna, feeling heavy. Every muscle in his body ached, and he wasn’t sure if he could blame that entirely on standing out in the rain. He dressed in his clothes, still damp, and wondered what he should do next. There wasn’t much time to ponder, before a knock came, and a note slid neatly underneath the door. Kross walked across the room, reading the note upside-down._ _

__“You are my only worthy opponent. This time, I shall defeat you without the help of monsters. I shall be waiting at the Green Ruins,” it read, and Brodik had signed his name at the bottom. For a moment, Kross’ heart sank, thinking it was a challenge to him, before realizing Brodik had no reason to think he’d be here. It was a challenge to Raguna. He wasn’t sure which was worse._ _

__Quietly, he left, careful to not disturb the note, or the sleeping wolf across the room. He took a deep breath as the morning air hit him, fresh from the night’s rain. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do. The more fearful part of him thought to the cabinet in his own house, and his hand itched for a weapon, but he shut it down before it could fester. He’d gone this long without fighting, and nothing was going to break that resolve. With a final deep breath, he left for the ruins._ _

__The air in the Green Runes was still. Kross stood across from Brodik, purposefully not meeting his eyes. He wondered if Raguna would show up, or just decide this was much too big of a headache. He both hoped he would and he wouldn’t. Brodik tapped his boot on the cold stone._ _

__“Why are you here?” he spat. Kross flinched at the sudden sound._ _

__“The same as you. I’m here to see this to the end,” he said. Brodik was silent for a time before speaking up._ _

__“All these months I spent away from home and it was you all this time. I wasted my time. So tell me, why did you do it, hmm? Why leave?” Kross didn’t answer right away. He brushed his long hair back behind his ear, smiling sadly._ _

__“It cost too much,” he said. Brodik stared at him._ _

__“What do you mean ‘it cost too much’?” he mocked._ _

__“It cost me my friends, my safety, my gentleness, my courage,” he said quietly. “It cost me my ability to look at myself in a mirror and not see all the people I hurt, the people I killed. It cost too much.” Kross crossed his arms around him self, shivering. Brodik was silent for a time, fiddling with his scarf before speaking._ _

__“So what if Raguna fails, and I decide to complete my mission and drag you back, what then?” he asked. Kross didn’t hesitate._ _

__“Then I’ll go back and face the consequences. Too many people have been hurt trying to defend me. I won’t have it any longer,” Kross said. Brodik gaped._ _

__“After all that running, you’d just give in?”_ _

__“I don’t want anyone else hurt for my sake,” Kross responded. It was his most important truth. He didn’t want to hurt anyone anymore. Raguna had asked why he couldn’t forgive himself, and the reasons stacked themselves high. The least he could do was end the cycle. He had thought that was what he was doing in Trampoli in the first place, but it hadn’t. He had been hiding, hiding from his past and hiding from himself. It was going to all end, and it was going to end here._ _

__Raguna all but tumbled into the platform, Jack at his heels. He froze at the sight of Brodik and Kross standing across from each other._ _

__“Glad you could make it,” Brodik said. Raguna focused in on him._ _

__“You sent me this challenge? Why do we have to fight? There’s no reason to--”_ _

__“I can’t move on until we finish things between us!” Brodik shouted. Kross hated that it sparked a fight reflex in him, but he held steady._ _

__“Raguna, there are times when people can’t turn back. This is that time for him,” he said. “Grant him this.” Raguna met his eyes, and Kross didn’t know what he saw there, but he nodded. Kross stepped back as the two drew their swords._ _

__Watching Raguna fight was something. He moved in tandem with his wolf, parrying Brodik’s blows like they didn’t sting, moving quick to strike. His weapons were cast with Retornen, so they did no real harm, but Kross knew they still hurt. The battle seemed to drag forever, until Brodik missed his footing, and Raguna slid under his defenses and delivered the last blow. Bodik hit the ground hard, and Kross had to flinch._ _

__The ruins were quiet for a time, nothing but Raguna’s heavy breathing as Brodik, lay there. Suddenly, he was laughing._ _

__“I lost!” he cried, almost joyful. “I completely lost!” Slowly he stood, grinning from ear to ear._ _

__“Are you alright?” Raguna asked._ _

__“Better than alright. That’s the best fight I’ve had in a while,” Brodik said. He rolled his shoulders then walked up to Raguna, extending a hand._ _

__“I have no regrets, but I am sorry for the trouble I caused you.” They clasped hands, and Brodik threw a look at Kross over his shoulder._ _

__“I’ll report to my superiors that our target wasn’t here,” he said, almost offhandedly. It took Kross a moment to process it._ _

__“Are you sure?” he asked, quietly. “If they send someone else, it could spell trouble for you.” Trouble would be an understatement, Kross knew. Brodik would be tried for treason. The thought didn’t sit well with him._ _

__“I lived across from you this whole time and never knew,” Brodik laughed. “I doubt anyone else will have much luck.” With that, he raised a hand in farewell, and disappeared into the ruins. Kross let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. Raguna caught his eye from where he stood._ _

__“Well, this has been something,” he said. Kross nodded._ _

__“I’m sorry. I’ve caused you so much trouble,” he replied. Raguna joined him, placing a hand on his arm._ _

__“I’m just glad it’s over,” he said. “And I feel like I know you so much better now, Kross.” Kross chewed his bottom lip._ _

__“There’s just...one more thing I want to show you.”  
\---_ _

__Kross led him to his house, bypassing his work table, and stopped at the cabinet in the corner of his house. Raguna peered at it over his shoulder. Kross wished his hands weren’t shaking as he opened it. He took a step back._ _

__Rows upon rows of weapons and shields were mounted neatly within it. Each one sharp and strong as the day he’d placed them in there. He thought back to nights before Raguna, where he would sit awake, sharpening them, polishing them, casting and recasting Retornen on each one, just in case. It had been a crutch from his old life, and he felt a wave of shame as Raguna wandered closer to get a better look._ _

__“This is...” Raguna started, letting his voice fall. Kross smiled, sad and broken._ _

__“Odd, huh? I came here to escape the constant fighting, but I’ve hidden these here. I-I’m a coward,” he said, letting his eyes fall to the floor._ _

__“You’re not a coward,” Raguna said firmly, and Kross looked back up to him._ _

__“I--”_ _

__“All these weapons have Retornen cast on them. Retornen is cast with the conviction to not hurt anyone. Having weapons like that...I can’t believe a coward would do that,” he said. He stepped closer, placing a hand on Kross’ neck. Kross leaned into the touch._ _

__“You...are such a strange man,” he said, with such fondness it almost hurt. Raguna pulled him in, and he didn’t fight the embrace, letting Raguna take him in._ _

__“You’ll heal, Kross,” Raguna mumbled into his shoulder. “And I’ll be here to love you until you can love yourself.” Tears pricked at Kross’ eyes. He didn’t know what to say, what to do, so he stayed like that, running his fingers through Raguna’s tangled hair. It had been a long day. A long couple years. A long fight, and a long time coming home to what had never been a place all along. That traitorous voice in his heart beat on._ _

__Hope. Hope. Hope._ _


	10. Epilogue

Raguna watched Kross out of the corner of his eye. It had been months since the final confrontation with Brodik, since Kross’ truth had been revealed. The road to where they were at had been difficult, but now as he watched Kross brushing his monsters, feeding them treats with the most peace he had ever seen in his eyes, Raguna knew every step was worth it. It still wasn’t easy. Kross still woke with nightmares about his former life, and Raguna still worried about his lost past, but their broken pieces fit together. Raguna had once heard of a country where broken pottery was repaired with gold, and he often thought that that was what they were doing here; not hiding their cracks and chips, but piecing them together with something much more precious.

Kross caught his gaze, and Raguna moved to join him, patting Lyla on the snout as he came near.

“She’s really warmed up to you,” Raguna said, and Kross nearly beamed.

“You think so?” he asked. Raguna took his hand. 

“I know so.” Kross leaned down, kissing him softly, and Raguna sighed into it. 

“You wanna take an early day?” he asked. Kross raised an eyebrow.

“What do you have in mind?” Raguna simply smiled, and led him down the dirt path out of his farm. 

They arrived at the lake and plopped down on the shore, Raguna laying his head in Kross’ lap. He laughed quietly, running his finger’s through his love’s hair. He smiled much more often now, and Raguna thought his heart would never get used to the joy it filled him with. 

They stayed there, chatting quietly until the sun set behind the horizon. As the conversation ebbed, Raguna felt himself being lulled to sleep by the hand in his hair, and the soft sound of the lake lapping at the edge of the shore. At the edge of sleep, he heard Kross chuckle.

“You’re falling asleep,” he said. Raguna shook his head.

“No, I’m awake,” he argued. Kross leaned down, his hair brushing Raguna’s face, and kissed him on the forehead.

“You,” he murmured, “are bad at lying.” 

“Only when I’m falling asleep,” he conceded. “A good time to ask me things, I guess.” Kross hummed.

“You don’t really like my cooking do you?” he asked.

“I really do,” Raguna lied, and he heard Kross laugh. 

“My snoring doesn’t bother you at all?”

“Not at all,” Raguna lied again. Kross brushed a hand across his cheek.

“Mist coming over at odd hours doesn’t irritate you?”

“Never,” Raguna continued, choking back a laugh. Kross was silent for a moment, stroking Raguna’s face. He was nearly sleeping when he heard Kross, in the quietest voice say:

“Will you marry me?”

Raguna opened his eyes slowly, seeing himself reflected by Kross’ icy blue eyes.

“Yes,” he said, so softly he almost didn’t hear himself. Kross watched him for a long time, saying nothing.

“Am I lying Kross?” he asked, reaching up to cup his face. 

“No,” he breathed. Raguna sat up, looking deep into his eyes.

“You can ask me again, if you don’t believe me,” he said. Kross took his hand.

“Will you marry me?”

“Yes,” Raguna said, this time with much more firmness. “And you can ask again and it’ll still be yes. I love you Kross. More than anything.” Kross swallowed hard and nodded.

“I love you too,” he said. “I always want to be with you, if you’ll have me.”

“I already said, it’s a yes. Just kiss me already,” Raguna said, with false exasperation. Kross smiled, and pulled him in for a slow, sweet kiss. The world around them melted away, and for a moment, there was nothing but the two of them. Raguna sighed as they pulled apart.

“Forever,” he whispered.

“Forever,” Kross promised. Raguna wasn’t sure about most things. The world still seemed so full of questions he couldn’t answer, but he hoped his whole world would start and end on that promise. 

With the moon just low enough in the sky that it felt near enough to touch, they made their way into their future, hand in hand. Love couldn’t heal all their wounds, but it was a damn good start.

**Author's Note:**

> Cross-posted to my tumblr, heaven-asunder
> 
> Comments are well-appreciated, this is unedited so all mistakes are mine


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